being human,  breath,  embodiment,  learning,  writing

What It Feels Like

Today I thought I’d try to put words to what a dis-regulated nervous system feels like — or perhaps what it feels like to discover and regulate it.

I didn’t know I had a dis-regulated nervous system until a few years ago. And I only began to understand it in the context of holistic health. I had inklings prior to this time, but didn’t have a way to access the deeper parts of myself that were keeping it stuck. Last year, I met with someone who would become a new friend, Tonya, a Vital Herbalist. She did an Astrological Ayurvedic Reading to help me uncover the root of my high blood pressure. Prior to our meeting, I suspicioned that anxiety was/is the cause of my hypertension and I was right; I just didn’t understand the full extent of it at the time.

Tonya prepared a specialized blend of herbs for me to try and we talked about a breath practice I could add to my daily practice, based on my unique constitution. Within a few weeks, I could tell a significant difference. Later that month, I met with a naturopath and went even deeper. After almost a year of herbs, daily practices, spiritual direction and somatic experiencing, I am literally not the same person. I have access to parts of myself I didn’t have access to before.

If you have a dis-regulated nervous system, you may not know it. It’s probably your baseline, the only thing you’ve ever known, so how could you? That was the case for me. I am sure there are various drugs that can and do help, but I’ve always chosen natural alternatives. The healing takes longer but it’s profound and more complete, in my opinion. Wholeness is our natural state but we live in a sick society.

A dis-regulated nervous system, to me, felt like rush. All the time. In almost all situations. It felt like urgency in all things. It felt like nervous energy in my body, especially around others. The difference, for me, is understanding the difference between nervous system time and body time, and figuring out how to shift into the latter. The two are very different. Below is a simple comparison list:

Nervous System Time

  • the pace of the masses
  • rush
  • making things happen; forcing
  • holding the breath
  • fractured
  • freeze
  • disembodied

Body Time

  • the pace of nature
  • ease
  • allowing life to unfold naturally
  • breathing deeply
  • whole
  • flow
  • embodied

Now that I am on this journey, there is no turning back. It’s amazing to me, how much access I now have to myself that I didn’t have before. And I know there are deeper and deeper layers yet to be uncovered. If this resonates, I’d love to hear; I’d love to talk with you. The Divine wants our wellbeing as much as we do, but society (our western norms, ways of being and capitalism) wants to keep us stuck. I’m no longer buying the kool-aid. Praise God.

(Photo by Kristin Wilson on Unsplash)

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