Little by little, we are led toward our final destination, and yet words fail. ‘Final destination’ is not a reality for earth. To coin a phrase I recently heard and like a lot, we are ‘always on the way.’ This phrase, for me, means continued growth, an uncovering of my true nature, that of love. The problem here on the earth-plane is that of forgetting, at least that’s been my experience.
I have been a writer for the entirety of my adult life and most of my childhood, if I’m being honest. I’ve made my living writing for others, but as I started my yoga journey, I deeply felt the need to write for myself. I started a (different) blog back then and wrote thousands of words for myself and others. These were words from my heart, passion for new things I was learning and a way to connect with those like-minded. Since that time, I’ve had a few other iterations of this blog and I believe this one is here to stay. The topic is pretty broad—humanity—but the subject often comes from that which I’m experiencing on any given day.
Today I am feeling both joy and terror, a mix of emotions I am not unfamiliar with. I had the courage to publish a short poetry book at the end of last year, Love Letters for the Soul. It’s the fourth book I’ve ever written and the first I’ve had the courage to publish. Is it good enough? Will it resonate? Is this even poetry? I wrestled with those questions and many others and decided that anything from my heart was/is good enough, if I feel a deep enough call to do it, and I did.
As humans, I think we all question ourselves and our worth—probably some more than others—but I am at a place now that is urging me to push past the questions and the feelings of unworthiness, toward a place of pure love and genuine seeking to connect with the heart of others.
Now, in the (late) afternoon of life, I am seeing patterns, and am feeling deeper pulls to expose the brilliance of who I am. Please don’t misunderstand, I do not think so highly of myself as to be above others, quite the contrary. But as a girl who made LOTS of mistakes—doubted her self worth, not only as a female but as a human, to the point of harm and degradation at a few times in life—it feels good to say “I Am Worthy.” And I am worthy, not because of anything I am or have done, but simply because I am a human formed by something far greater than I.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s okay to shine and that there is enough to go around and that we should all be encouraging each other to do so. The purest part of us is our hearts and if we can’t share that, then who are we?
I ‘promoted’ my book on social last night because (1) a former yoga student left me a sweet review and (2) I discovered that it was available on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I can’t explain how it feels to have done something I’ve dreamed of for years. I don’t plan to do any major promotion, except among those who know me.
I wrote a book of poetry but I’m not even sure I’m a poet. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter. ‘Love Letters for the Soul’ is a sweet book of heart stirring during a really difficult time of my life. The entries are whispers of my heart, reminders that I’m still here and that I should keep going.
Life is about relationship. If I touch one person with my words, it will all have been worth it.