Sitting with the Questions

I am a firm believer in spiritual practice. My spirituality isn’t dependent on a strict set of beliefs or a weekly service. And while what I believe guides my life and spirituality, if all I have are beliefs without practice, it feels inadequate.

Over the years, I’ve had many practices within my spiritual life: reading sacred texts, meditation, spending time in nature, writing and creating to name a few. I still use many of these practices and others, and allowing them to ebb and flow feels most right for me and my life.

A few years ago, as I began a serious contemplative practice, sitting with the questions began to fuel my life with a palpable fervor. It’s a practice of deepening in the mystery of life. As an analytical, left brained individual, it’s honestly not the easiest practice. Sometimes it feels like I’m going nowhere. In a way, all of contemplative practice feels like that.

As soon as I think I know the answer, a nuance presents itself that rearranges everything. In life there are many questions without clear answers. Sitting with the questions of life is a beautiful way to get and stay connected to self and the Divine. Here are a few questions I’m sitting with:

• I recognize that I have sovereignty, freewill and boundless choice in life; why do I often choose mediocrity over doing the hard things? I am better than this and yet I’ll often choose the path of least resistance. Why?
• Why do I keep leaning into social media and doom scrolling in lieu of reading, expanding my brain and writing about the ways I’m changing, thanks to the mind-expanding things I’m learning? (This seems to be a recurring theme. I go off of social and then back on. I see how healthy and optimal I am when off and yet I return again and again. How can I choose what’s best for me time and again?)
• Why do I let my brain cycle in and out of depression and negative thoughts when there is so much wonder before me? 
• What are my invitations in this season of life?

Sometimes I simply sit with the questions during my meditation time; sometimes I journal. Allowing my brain to reflect always produces unexpected ‘shimmers’ and fodder for more, well, questions.

What about you? What questions are you sitting with in this season? How has this practice changed your life? Or is this concept new for you? I’d love to know!

(Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash)