I read something a few years ago that helped me heal from trauma significantly. It validated my experience. I remember my therapist saying to me that my type of trauma was the hardest to heal … low level trauma. I didn’t even recognize it as trauma until I was well into adulthood and life began to unravel. Here is the passage:
“It’s crucial to remember that no one but the writer can determine what might be perceived as traumatic nor is it essential that the experience be defined as ‘trauma.’ What matters is if the difficult experience produces a stress response––or a complex trauma response––and this can result from surviving an attack, being in a car accident, or fighting in a war. It also can come from the separation from parents, or living with a depressed parent, or being in a household with marital tension. The depth of the response is dependent on intensity of the experience, prior traumas, genetic makeup, and social context.”
Marian M. MacCurdy, The Mind’s Eye: Image and Memory in Writing About Trauma
I just want you to know that you have permission to feel and permission to heal. Your experience of yourself and your feelings are valid. Own it, get help if you need it and let the truth of your beautiful beingness set you free. Your trauma only defines you if you let it.