• being human,  embodiment,  writing

    More Real. More Raw. More of Me.

    This blog has served a purpose for many years; that purpose is shifting. I AM SHIFTING. I am tired of the highlight reel that is social media. This blog is a reflection of who I am, all that I am––the beautiful and the ugly. The subject is me, plain and simple. It is for me. It is cathartic. It is also for you, if you come along with me. I hope it is a way for us to connect, heart to. heart. I share my story in the hopes that you might see yourself in my words. We are all more alike than different. This blog is an attempt at improving my self-awareness. It is an act of courage. I wish to let my readers have a clear view of my human-ness: my insecurities and traumas, the unhealed aspects of myself I’m still working…

  • being human,  embodiment,  writing

    Giving Away Little Pieces of Me

    Out of sorts. Sad. Aggravated. Tormented by my mind. These are just a few emotions I’ve been feeling lately. I lean into practice. Every. Damn. Day. And yet I always end up right where I started. I sense that I’m not giving enough of myself away. I am not giving back to the world in any measure equal to what I’ve been given. It’s hard because everything feels heavy. The things I think up never feel big enough. Nothing ever feels like it’s enough. And I’m tired of feeling paralyzed; I’m tired of talking myself out of things because they seem small. Plus the divisiveness around COVID and the difficulty to volunteer have stopped me for too long; it cannot be the reason I do nothing. There is so much I do control. There are many small things I can do easily. And isn’t…

  • being human,  writing

    You Don’t Know Me

    “You don’t even know who I am,” I thought as I drove away the other night. This after a conversation with a friend––a friend I’ve felt less and less of a need to be close to, and I realized why in that conversation. Daily learning and growth is truly one of my top priorities in life and I have been asking God for a while now to send women who are similar in spirit, those who also wish to grow and become more of themselves than they thought was possible. I do not see this same yearning in the friend I write about. We are all different, thank goodness. But when friendship is based on conditions and small talk and unwanted advice, I’m simply not interested anymore. The funny thing is that I can see the ‘past me’ in her. Some of the things…

  • being human,  embodiment,  learning,  writing

    Love Allows Everything

    “Love is a paradox. It often involves making a clear decision; but at its heart, it is not a matter of mind or willpower but a flow of energy willingly allowed and exchanged, without requiring payment in return. Divine love is, of course, the template and model for such human love, and yet human love is the necessary school for any encounter with divine love. . . . If we have never let God love us in the deep and subtle ways that God does, we will not know how to love another human in the deepest ways of which we are capable. Love is constantly creating future possibilities for the good of all concerned—even, and especially, when things go wrong. Love allows and accommodates everything in human experience, both the good and the bad, and nothing else can really do this. Nothing.” Fr. Richard Rohr OFM, Center…

  • being human,  embodiment,  writing

    Embodied Writing

    How often are you in your head, and can you, instead, reside in your heart or gut, or even your feet? Embodiment, in its simplest sense, is being present and ‘in’ the sensations of the body on a moment-by-moment basis. Another simple definition I recently heard is “living life informed through the sense-experience of the body.” Most of us, unfortunately, are foreign to this idea and we are in our heads quite a lot. We are thinkers and doers and overachievers (me included), but learning to drop into the body actually provides us with more information, more choice, a fuller life, and gives the brain a much needed break. Often we are participating in life but not fully participating. Have you driven somewhere and realized that when you got to your destination, you couldn’t recall the drive? Or been in conversation but didn’t hear what…

  • being human,  writing

    What You Think of Me is None of My Business

    I woke up this morning with a sense of dread, a feeling I am not unfamiliar with. The ‘dread’ was (is) worry . . . about what others think of me, specifically over the book I just published. It’s a normal human emotion, I think. It’s also worth dismantling. Publishing a book has been on my bucket list for at least the last decade, maybe two, and when I took a course last year on the publishing process, I decided to publish poetry that I wrote during a volatile time. I wrote these poems and called them ‘Love Letters for the Soul’ because that is exactly what they were to me, love letters for MY soul. . . . In them you’ll read about a scared, unsure, deeply sad yet hopeful little girl talking herself out of every bad thing, every negative emotion, every…

  • being human,  reading,  writing

    January Books Read

    As I wrote in a previous post, I have a goal of reading 108 books and/or literary essays this year. Besides the ongoing books I’m reading throughout the year (which were listed in that post), here is a list of books and essays read in January 2021: Dear Ijeawele or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Pray, Decide and Don’t Worry: Bobby & Jackie Angel with Mike Schmitz In the School of the Holy Spirit: Jacques Philippe Praying the Rosary Like Never Before: Edward Sri We Should All Be Feminists: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Stitches: Anne Lamott Intimations: Zadie Smith The Naked Now: Richard Rohr Turn My Mourning Into Dancing: Henri Nouwen Liturgy of the Ordinary: Tish Harrison Warren A Healing Space: Matt Licata Seven Brief Lessons on Physics: Carlo Rovelli On Likability: Lacy M. Johnson Obituary for Dead Languages: Heather Altfeld…

  • being human,  embodiment,  writing

    The Whispers of My Soul

    Little by little, we are led toward our final destination, and yet words fail. ‘Final destination’ is not a reality for earth. To coin a phrase I recently heard and like a lot, we are ‘always on the way.’ This phrase, for me, means continued growth, an uncovering of my true nature, that of love. The problem here on the earth-plane is that of forgetting, at least that’s been my experience. I have been a writer for the entirety of my adult life and most of my childhood, if I’m being honest. I’ve made my living writing for others, but as I started my yoga journey, I deeply felt the need to write for myself. I started a (different) blog back then and wrote thousands of words for myself and others. These were words from my heart, passion for new things I was learning…

  • being human,  embodiment,  reading,  writing

    2021 Reading Goal

    Yesterday I wrote about my goals for 2021 and one of my biggest ones is to read more books. Specifically, my goal is to read 108 books. I have set this goal for myself every year—reading more, not 108–this is the most ever. With my intention to lessen social media (and a pretty good follow through so far), I am making excellent progress. Everyday reading is becoming a habit. I have read ten books in full so far and I have five that I’ll be reading throughout 2021. Each month I plan to list the books I’ve read. Below are the year-long books on my shelf: The Book of Awakening: Mark Nepo Do Something Beautiful for God: thoughts from Mother Teresa Radiance Sutras: Lorin Roche The Cloud of Unknowing: Unknown A Calendar of Wisdom: Leo Tolstoy I will list the other ten (and any…

  • being human,  embodiment,  reading,  writing

    Goals for a New Year

    For many years now I have set personal and professional goals at the beginning of each year. I did so again this year but they look much different from years’ past. I have ALWAYS had something to prove, the result of a not-enoughness mindset. Thankfully much of my life’s inner work has been about seeing/understanding not-enoughness, the insideous ways it shows itself, and dismantling its ugly manifestations. I never would have had the courage to publish Love Letters for the Soul without doing so. I don’t have to be the best at anything. I only have to be myself. So while I still think it’s important to set goals and work toward them, my stance has softened. To me, life has shifted from acheiving goals at some far-off date to paying greater attention to how I’m living today. My goals for this year are…