• being human,  vlog

    Ball State Orientation

    Just a little video highlighting Maddie’s Freshman Orientation at Ball State. I’m so excited for her! Life doesn’t stop, so we hang on tight and go along for the ride, hopefully as consciously as possible, sometimes not.

  • being human,  embodiment

    Learning to Live in Direct Experience

    I’ve gone quiet lately. Last week was busy with work and graduation prep and the weekend was full with my girl’s graduation ceremony and party. (That’s her in the pic; isn’t she beautiful?) Yesterday was the first day I journaled in a few weeks. And it struck me … I wasn’t writing because I didn’t want to fully feel, didn’t want to acknowledge the sadness that was here, under the surface. Anxiety was here. Angst was here. I felt it all. I’m much more in tune than I ever have been before, but I filled life up instead of slowing down to fully experience it. I think most of us do that, sometimes…

  • being human,  stories,  vlog

    Reasons for Starting a Vlog

    For some reason, anytime I start something new I feel compelled to justify my WHY. I'm speaking here of my forays into vlogging. Why am I embarking on this new task? Why does it feel a bit monumental? And why do I feel kind of dumb about doing it, like I think I'm so important that others will want to see me on film? The answer to the last question is that I don't, but I've hidden for too long; I'm in the process of putting myself out there more in an effort to stop hiding. They say, "the way you do anything is the way you do everything," and I think that's…

  • being human,  vlog

    An Attempt at Vlogging

    So so so much is changing, and all for the better. In an attempt to not cringe when I listen to myself speak, here's my first attempt at vlogging. I'm doing it for so many more reasons than that, but it's certainly one big one. Here is one evening in my life. I hope to do more. Happy Wednesday!

  • being human,  embodiment,  gratitude,  stories

    Happy Mama’s Day

    Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful mamas out there. And a quick note to say that on this day, I’m happier than I’ve been in a while. That’s a rarity I’m excited to see end. I texted with one of my girlfriends this morning. She replied that its a hard day for her: both of her daughters will be moving out this summer. I replied that “I get it,” and that I’m here for her, and I am. I will be. The grief of losing my mom and my daughter (to a move to her father’s house) was a sadness I wasn’t sure I’d get over. It was certainly the longest grief period…

  • being human,  embodiment,  gratitude,  love letters for the soul

    Changing my Physiology

    Wanna know a secret? I have no idea what I’m doing.  And damn, have I been trying hard—too hard. For the longest time, I thought I had to get it ‘right.’ For the longest time I tried to be perfect. It just perpetuated more pain. So at the end of the struggle, I decided to just be me, but there was a problem. I didn’t know how to do that, exactly. I can’t explain why: my brain wasn’t working optimally, and that realization led to a billion other ‘a-has.’ I learned that I couldn’t use sheer will to change; I had to change my physiology. I had to change my brain. 

  • being human,  love letters for the soul

    Collective Healing Changes the World

    Do you ever think about what you’re doing here on the earth plane? That seems to be my central question of each day. I am always trying to make meaning of life, make the moments matter, be better than i was the day before. Sometimes I am too much. Sometimes I feel abnormal, too intense. Do I feel too much? Write too much? Question too much? But all of this is authentically me; it’s who I am, and shouldn’t that be good enough? For the longest time, I hid my gifts. I hid, period. But age is funny. It puts everything into perspective; it provides the ability to look back and see the…

  • being human,  embodiment,  stories

    The Questions I’m Pondering Today

    It's Saturday morning and I'm feeling sad. It's been a great week. I was on a high for most of it, and a few incidents yesterday threw me into a mental tailspin; I went to bed with a heavy felt-sensation last night and woke up with the residue this morning. My medicine will be writing, getting outside and moving my body today. Any time I feel like this, I ask myself how much of it I want to feel and how much of it I need to move past. I think it's important to find a balance in both. If I avoid the way I'm feeling, how will I ever get better? And…

  • being human,  embodiment,  gratitude,  love letters for the soul,  stories

    Embodying My Life

    For as long as I can remember (forever) I've been a doer. I became a yoga teacher thirteen years ago, because I saw the gifts yoga freely gave and I wanted to be a conduit for that. More being, less doing. They say "we teach what we most need to learn." I wholeheartedly believe this statement to be true. So I taught yoga, the best way I knew how, for ten full years. I taught what I needed to learn, and in the process I learned and changed. I still teach now, but in a much different manner. I write about my experiences in the hopes that others see themselves in my stories, feel…

  • being human,  embodiment

    Waking Up

    Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." I am insane. You are insane. The entire world is insane; yes, the entire world is insane. There are far more insane people here than sane. Why? Because we live in a world of disillusion, ego and conditioning. We live in a world of people who believe in their thoughts. We live in a world of perceived separateness from source. CRAZYmaking bullshit. Our minds trick us into believing everything we think. Our minds believe our negativity and separateness, but our thoughts are not real.