being human,  writing

You Don’t Know Me

“You don’t even know who I am,” I thought as I drove away the other night. This after a conversation with a friend––a friend I’ve felt less and less of a need to be close to, and I realized why in that conversation.

Daily learning and growth is truly one of my top priorities in life and I have been asking God for a while now to send women who are similar in spirit, those who also wish to grow and become more of themselves than they thought was possible. I do not see this same yearning in the friend I write about.

We are all different, thank goodness. But when friendship is based on conditions and small talk and unwanted advice, I’m simply not interested anymore.

The funny thing is that I can see the ‘past me’ in her. Some of the things that makes me crazy about her are things I was guilty of too.

The tipping point was a ‘should’ she placed on me, a should that did not resonate at all, a should that did not even remotely line up with who I am, and I realized that she doesn’t know me at all. After years of friendship, she has no idea of the person I actually am.

And so, we’ll remain friends because we have been for so long, and because she is a good person, but I’ll pull back, spend time with those who share similar interests, those who know me and those who want to grow with me.

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash