For the longest time I felt I had something to prove. I became a yoga teacher to change the world, sort of … to change MY world, for sure. And that it did. Leaving a full time job to mostly teach yoga was one of the best things I ever did for myself and throughout that decade, I was changed in profound ways, but eventually it all fell apart …
Mom died. Maddie moved out. I slipped into severe depression for two years and didn’t want to teach anymore. I simply couldn’t.
During this downtime, I made the practice my own again, I did other things that nourished me, and I realized that I too fell victim to an Instagram network marketing mindset – of selling myself. And another wave of change is coming in that realization. I have nothing to prove anymore.
The darkness has subsided; I’m standing in the light. Life is good. I’m teaching again, though not as much as I used to. It’s not as much of a profession as it is a way of supporting others. Of course it’s always been about supporting others but for a long time it was about growing my business too. It’s not about that anymore.
What I’m called to these days is a life that supports me and my well being, and extending that same support to others in ways that make sense. It’s about sharing my gifts and the things I’ve learned through the years: journaling support for those who want it, writing and editing support for other healing professionals, yoga knowledge in support of a dear friend’s new yoga teacher training program, support of my precious daughter as she shines on D1 softball stage (yay, yay, yay! for the last one).
I dim the spotlight on myself because it’s never really been about me anyway. It’s not about any of us singularly. No, life is about relationship. We shine most brightly when we help others do the same.