I took a hike today. It’s always a great way to clear my head and ask for insight.
I woke up feeling negatively about myself; vivid dreams of lack woke me and left me feeling not good enough as I started my day.
I’ve been noticing lately how much other people’s energy affects me. I began to unravel that thought on my hike.
. . .
My daughter and I spent the weekend together, and on Friday night we headed out to watch a local band play. During the outing we saw many people we know – people we love as well as random acquaintances.
One girl I used to be ‘friends’ with was out. We were never close but always ran in the same circles. She no longer speaks to me unless I speak to her and I’m not sure why. I can speculate and that speculation is what starts the not-good-enough syndrome that plagues me more often than I wish. I try not to judge but it’s hard when you’re being judged. She feels quite self-righteous to me, as though she’s never made a mistake. I, on the other hand, know I’ve made many in my adult life — and I own them. I’ve never done anything to her specifically, but her judgement is acutely felt.
As M and I were eating dinner, she said, “what’s up with Sarah? She didn’t even speak to me?” I replied that I wasn’t sure. “She doesn’t speak to me anymore either.” And my soul hurt.
Not everyone is supposed to like me. I get that and it’s okay, but my daughter … that hurts my soul.
M is strong. She can brush most things off, but that behavior hurts because I don’t ever want her to model it. I want my daughter to be kind, compassionate, loving, accepting. I don’t want her to make others feel judged the way I’ve felt in my lifetime. I know it’s unrealistic to think I can shelter her, but I want to teach her how to be kind. To me, the sign of successful parenting is raising them to be more spirit-filled than ego-identified.
This feeling bad about myself is something I’ve done for far too long. I recognize now that some of it is from feeling other people’s energy and ego-identified, judgmental projections.
. . .
In that moment, on my hike, I paused, put my hands over my heart and sent myself love, so much love. I sent compassion, and acceptance, and I started to cry. I sensed my humanness, the inherent tenderness within, and a tremendous amount of love. I felt love for myself and for the human condition.
And in that moment a feather appeared. A tiny feather. A message.
I looked up the synchronicity and symbolism of feathers.
Although our Angels are always near us, looking over us and protecting us, we very rarely know that they are there. Sometimes, our Angels will send us small signs and signals to let us know that they are near, and will always be there to love and support us. These signs can be anything from a subtle flash of light, a rainbow on a gloomy day, or even an unexpected, sudden feeling of love and warmth within you.
One of the ultimate signs your Angels are with you is finding a feather. Coming across a feather in your path, or finding a feather in an unexpected place is thought to be a message from the Angels.
Your Angels will use feathers of all different shapes and colours to offer you comfort or validation when you need it most. Feathers could also be a clue to an answer you have been looking for, or even a message to tell you you’re on the correct path.
So next time you find a feather, pay attention! Although the most common feather sent from Angels is white, Angel feathers can come in all kinds of colours, and the colour of your feather can give additional meaning to the message your Angels are sending you.
Heaven is always near. God and our angels are here every step of the way; we just forget. I’m thankful for the sign today.
We all want and need love. We all want to feel accepted, honored, seen.
And those negative feelings of hurt, shame, resentment and sadness … I’m working through them. I am always working through them. I’ve accepted that it’s part of who I am. Deep down I love me, very much so.