• being human

    Vanity & Aging

    I wrote an Instagram post last night, about being vain and how much it drives me crazy. The attached ‘snap chatted’ photo of me accompanied the post. My skin is flawless thanks to the filter. It’s not real life. I am forty-nine years old. I don’t look forty-nine in the photo, do I? I’m glad I don’t look forty-nine. Within the last month, I’ve been carded three times for alcohol. I ran into an old friend who asked my age then raved that I don’t age. Another acquaintance said she couldn’t believe I was that old. “Get out,” she said. This was real life. I felt so happy and proud in each of…

  • being human

    On Becoming Real

    “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit On Authenticity, Realness So much of my life has been about how things looked from the outside.…

  • being human

    A Mix of Sadness & Gratitude

    It seems impossible to feel sad and grateful at the same time, yet those are the two precise emotions I’ve simultaneously carried with me today. A deep well of sadness has settled in again, what was once an abnormal feeling has become familiar. To a self-proclaimed ‘glass half full,’ cheery soul, I feel lost in it. I find myself reflecting and then feeling an emptiness, an absence. I think about days not many years ago that were full, busy, too busy, and the ways I longed for quiet, contemplation, time. I wanted something I couldn’t have and now I want what I once had back. My yoga toolbox provides me with many tools.…